Irrational Fears

Fifty First Timer No.10

Catch a spider

I know it may not sound much but it is for me. I suffer from arachnophobia. I have done since birth. I think my mother passed it on to me and my siblings. For people who don’t suffer there is no way to describe the cold dread that sweeps through me when, out of the corner of my eye, I first spot that black something on the carpet. It may be static or it may be wheeching along the skirting or worse across the floor towards me. I scream, I run for help.
A sighting in the bedroom is worst of all, especially when I am about to settle down into my cosy bed and there in the corner is a big black hairy legged creepy crawly. Can I risk leaving it; maybe once the light is out it will settle down? No way! It might head straight for me and clamber over the bedcovers to…To what?
Until last year, if there was no help at hand then I was reduced to dropping a heavy book on top of the poor wee thing. I am now only just capable of placing a large jar over the top of the spider and leaving it imprisoned until a knight arrives.
There is no rational explanation for my fear. I know spiders can’t hurt me, I even know that they can help. I didn’t realise this so much until I moved to the country. There are more flies in the country and spiders catch flies and eat them. Last year I decided the time had come to tackle this fear and be kinder to spiders.
I never kill them now. I let them alone to wander the house (out with the bedroom). I often startle a wee soul when I am hovering or washing the kitchen floor. ‘Go along little friend’ I say as I wait until they scuttle out of my line of vision.
Yesterday a medium sized intruder passed into the forbidden territory. There was no knight in sight. Right, I could do this I knew I could.
A large gherkin jar was carried forth and with sweaty palms and dry mouth I managed to coax Mr creepy crawly into the jar, I whipped the lid on and at arms length marched him out the front door to be spilled out onto the frozen path.
The next step for me is to tackle the monster species we attract in these parts. They wear balaclavas and tackity boots, but if left alone they die in a couple of days. I normally find them dried up behind the curtains waiting for the Hoover hose.
Maybe I will just leave them to nature.

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